The Brief Skinny

My photo
I am Fitch, a girlchild from England and many things either amuse or annoy me. To this end, I shall post about them, that you may read, and learn. LEARN, GROUNDLINGS!

Wednesday 14 January 2009

Fitch, the Half-Eaten Hamburger

Well, Half Ton Son was on telly and, darned if I didn't miss it! It's not on the catchup-we-tv-execs-shall-shoot-ourselves-in-the-foot internet player thing either :(

BUT!
Fortunately one of my friends at college has taken to surfing GodTube and finding the most insane videos he can to amuse himself (and me, a lot)
Enter this:
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bdf400df34e41b93636a

ACTING!

And no, it's not 'really like that'
Although I have taken to refering to myself as the Half-Eaten Hamburger, just for the lulz.

(also of note is that godtube censors comments left on the videos, including cesoring out the word 'sex'. Any explanations for that please send to this address...)
Love you all like Jesus loves Virgins!
Fitch
x

Sunday 11 January 2009

People Who Think That Hardy's 'Wessex' Is a Real County

It's not. Retard.

And even if it did exist it would be bloody depressing.

Saturday 10 January 2009

"Please Welcome Upon the Stage... Morbid Obesity"

As promised, my next post (feat. swearing, for the fragile of spirit). To kick it off, please to be watching this:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-5zbQ3s6V0w

(lololol, I forgot how funny I find the League of Gentlemen, we do comedy so much better in Britain, I'm sorry but we do)
This topic was brought to mind by the recent trails on telly for 'Half Ton Son', about a hugely fat young man and the mother that feeds him burgers and chocolate etc. This also reminded me of 'Half Ton Mom' which was on last year, or possibly the year before. I forget. It was on though.

Now I know Bernice there was quite extreme but I do share some of the views she expresses re: the morbidly obese. I'm perfectly willing to accept that some weight gain is caused by glandular problems/is hereditary and so forth. But if you, right now, reading this, are one of those massively overweight people that are soooooooo fat that you can't get up from your bed or sofa or whatever, I can't accept that you live on 'skimmed milk and ryvita', cake must enter into it somewhere.

Renee Williams, made famous after becoming the largest person to have gastric bypass surgery in 2007, (although she tragically died 12 days later, and I accept it was tragic because it was brave of her to go on tv and so forth) was unable to get up from her bed, yet she still ate a lot of food.

But if she couldn't get out of bed, how the hell did she get the food? I can only assume that it was brought to her by her loving family when she requested it. But why in the name of Jesus bicycling Christ give it to her? If a relative of yours is so fat they can't even get up and waddle to the fridge, give them a fucking stick of celery when they ask for food. What the hell are they going to do about it? Going on a starvation protest couldn't do them much harm.

This is my beef with the families of the morbidly obese. I don't really have beef with the supafat themselves (unless they use the phrase 'primarily an emotional disorder' - DENIAL, people), I get that it will be hard to break yourself out of the cycle once you're in it. You need help to get healthy again. So it ain't helpful if your mother is unwrapping the Mars Bars and shoving them down your throat for you. I mean for God's sake!

Love you all like a fat kid loves cake (laaawl, I am teh topical)
Fitch
x

My Blog; Let Me Show You It.

So my friend Scott (the Artist formerly known as The Cynical Libertarian, linky linky -http://cynlib.blogspot.com/) was all like 'you hate stuff, you should totally have a blog!'. And I was all 'shut yo' bitchass face'.
No, I wasn't really, because I'm not a stereotype.
He was right though, I do hate stuff. Well I have opinions on stuff, that are clearly more relevant than Scott's, and people seem to be interested in his blog. My blog will of course be rendered more interesting since I have BOOBS, which if I am to believe Channel Four make anything interesting. Don't expect said boobs to feature much though.
So, like, from what I can gather Scott mostly uses his blog to bitch about the bbc/media in general and or the goverment. I'm not very political to be honest, I like books and tea (as featured at the top) and am sarcastic. So, take that.
Also, the domain name and the title of the blog have nothing to do with each other because all the domain names featuring sarcasm that I tried to use were taken. Apparently there are a lot of sarcastic people on the internet.

Also also, I have decided my next post shall be on either Richard 'Angry Atheist!' Dawkins or the families of massively fat people. Stay tuned.

Love you all like Kel loves Orange Soda (OHEMGEE who else remembers that? I totally loved Keenan and Kel. It's so upsetting to me that they're now 30 and look haggered as all hell)
Fitch x